This morning I cry… Because this time my pride- it’s no more. I knew I had done wrong. Ending up with him yet again after telling myself, “Don’t you be weak, Don’t let him in”.
But my flesh failed. Like so many times before. And I know better. But when you know better you do better right? So obviously, I must’ve not known better- because I can’t seem to keep my legs closed at night. GOD!!! (A cry out in desperation!)
This morning I cried. I turned my back on You and I’m sorry. I know I’ve told you this before, but I am really. sorry. Never before have I busted out in tears as soon as he exited my bedroom door… panties lying on the floor… RIGHT NEXT TO MY VALUES & MORALS!
And I can’t do this again. Slowly damaging my soul, abusing the God that lives within. There comes a point in time where you grow tired of your sin. I don’t know how I’ve allowed myself to get this far off track. I went from, “God is sooo dope!” to lying on my freakin’ back. For a dude that has no intentions on marrying me. Such a fool I was.
As the tears flow down my cheeks, I struggle to get out of bed and make it to my first class.
This morning I thank God for starting a healing project within me. I’m so ready to be free from this addiction. And although it’s painful, I gotta thank God for His discipline. CONVICTION!!